2011.
Saturday.
8th Jan.
First week of the year.
3.36AM
Of all the things I believed in,
I just want to get it over with.
This is by far, the worst week of the year. I didn't see all this coming at all.
First week of the year and I'm already so tied up with school work, partially is because I wasn't diligent enough to finish my assignments before the school started but I can't rant about the past, time waits for no man.
This one week has made me learned a lot about myself this very year. So many things are coming up.
Can I cope up with myself? I can't follow the pace, I'll have to keep running faster.
Now that I realized, everything is gonna change and forever is a lie. Nonetheless, I can't quit dreaming. It's too good. It's the best of everything. It's the only thing that keeps me sane. In a place that no one can find, I want to go there and make everything go away. Can someone help me out of this inevitable dream? I need to get real. Sometimes, I can take these shits and sometimes, I just give up. When I give up, everything seems so much harder. My Lord, can you listen to the prayer? Please guide me, anywhere because everything inside me screams and I can't take that voice out. It's gonna haunt me for long. Really long.
Worst Case Scenario,
I have a friend. A really good one. A best friend indeed. He is leaving soon in one more month, but in a blink of an eye, he'll be gone. Everything will change, a lot will. I can't foresee those days, it's too horrible. In the end, I'm no one. I can do nothing about it. Guess I'll just have to wait. My brain tells me so but my heart thinks otherwise. All I can do is wish the best of things for him. I never liked departure, it sucks totally. Where is the "good" in goodbye? & he was the one I told many I would never fall for. They say, it's okay not to be okay.
FUCK YOU!
It was the hardest thing to listen to.
Goodbye to you.
“Yes I love him. I love him more than anything else in this world and there is nothing that I would like better than to hold on to him forever. But I know it's not for the best. So no matter how much my heart is going to break, I've got to let him go so he can know just how much I love him. Maybe if I'm lucky, he'll come back, but if not, I can make it through this.
Listening to (Jessie J - Who You Are).
P/S: I know it ain't cool but I can't help myself anymore.
”
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